Upcoming Release Anticipation Countdown Espectacularrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

LOL, coming (photo)

Jesus, isn't summer supposed to be a dead time for game releases? I can only assume that the uncharacteristic glut of impossibly-appealing games being released this summer can be chalked up to the world economy circling the drain; surely, say, Sucker Punch would have held onto inFamous until the fall if it weren't waiting for this "recession-proof" industry to follow suit. Oh well; their loss is our gain. (all release dates are presumed. HOW DAER YUO CRUSH MY DREAMS.)

5. PixelJunk Monsters PSP (photo)

The prospect of having access to PJM anywhere, at any time - in bed, on the bus, on the terlit, in court, at a funeral, in a black hole, in Kentucky, etc. - is a terrifying one; it was hard enough to dream up excuses to stop playing it when marrying my ass to the couch was a condition for playing it. God help us all if they actually allow folks to play cooperatively over the tubes this time. I mean, in that situation, aren't we faced with a PSP game werth by-ong? Uh, I mean a PSPhuh gum woof baryeng? A fnuhfnuh fnuh fnuhfnuh? Fuck, I can't even type it.

4. Muramasa: The Demon Blade (photo)

I have only actually beaten about 8% of Odin Sphere, but I love it so much in principle that I cannot help but get impossibly excited for this game. Plus, yay, another Wii game to buy! Will we crack five this year? Dare we dream the impossible dream? STAY TUNED~

3. inFamous (photo)

Assassin's Creed was the first game I beat this generation; of course I'm going to get this.

2. Fight Night Round 4 (photo)

Here is how excited I am for this game: I actually preordered it today. Well, technically I paid $41.06 towards preording it today; since there's a GameStop right by my office, I decided to take advantage of their occasional "trade in more shit, get more trade credit" promotion to try and get enough in exchange for Space Invader Exteme (holla at yr boy if you're looking for a paddle, btw) and Super Princess Peach (yes, at one point in my life I actually decided that I needed to own this game) to get Chinatown Wars. Because I scored a 1 on my AP calculus exam, I ended up with an assload more credit than anticipated, which I decided to put towards the surest thing since, well, #1 on this list. (I mean, I've beaten FNR3 three times (twice on PS3 alone), and that was without Trophies; it's just such an adjective-defyingly ecstatic experience to beat the everliving shit out of someone with your right thumb. They could have gotten away with "FNR3 + Trophies + Mike Tyson", but noooooooooo, they had to be awesome and tack on a hundred billion improvements on top of that.) Incidentally, it's striking how GameStop clerks respond when you tell them you want to reserve something today; other sales associates were, like, cheering and shit, like the guy had just won the lottery. I have no idea what GameStop's incentive system for register jockeys who manage to elicit preoders from customers is, but if the store's collective response was any indication I just helped my mans make a down payment on a house. That, or my preorder got him out of getting fired/forced to work weekends/ordered to fight the Kraken this week.

This is getting depressing. Let's talk about the least depressing-sounding game ever:

1. Mario & Luigi 3 (photo)

The short version is that this is basically my favorite series in existence. I love the Mario games and the Paper Mario games and even ("even") Mario RPG as much as any other sentience-possessing organism on this planet, but the Mario & Luigi series of games is in another class of games entirely; from the visible enemy encounters to the not-just-picking-attack-from-a-menu battle system to the legitimately funny script, the M&L series is all about delivering pure gratification within seconds of being booted up (probably a lucky consequence of its handheld heritage). And while M&L3 will lack Partners in Time's inexplicable Rumble Pak support (which effectively turned PiT into a rhythm game [a really really awesome rhythm game]), it's still the next installment in the best series ever, so nyah.

Now let's get into the long version. Yes, the long version. To save you all some time, I'm just going to bold all the parts of this set of revelations which give me a raging, blue-veined, mind-of-its-own vidyagameboner:

"Here is gameplay:

The game switches between three playable characters. Mario & Luigi are found together inside Bowser for the first part of the game, exploring a 2D environment, much like a platformer. Bowser explores the Mushroom Kingdom in a 3/4 overhead view world, much like previous Mario & Luigi games. After a point in the game, Mario & Luigi can go out of Bowser to explore the overworld. They can use a pipe to return inside Bowser.

Mario and Luigi can both jump, spin jump and use hammers in the over world. The bros can also use hammers and jump during a battle. Jumping in battles have been altered so the Bros can now execute a double jump on an enemy. As in the previous games, the “A” button controls Mario while the “B” button controls Luigi.

Bowser uses both the “X” and “Y” buttons. “Y” is used for fire breath and “X” is used for punching. Later in the game, you can get a sliding punch and a ground pound. The battle system has been altered for Bowser. Punching replaces jump and the hammer is replaced with fire breath. There is also the Vacuum system wherein you can make Bowser suck certain things from the enemies or even the enemies themselves. Whenever you suck the enemies though, you then control Mario and Luigi to defeat these enemies.

Bros. Points (BP) have been brought back from the first game in the series, only this time, it is now called Skill Points (SP) because of Bowser’s playability. Items also make a comeback. Items can be acquired by collecting 10 “Attack Parts”. Upon collecting all 10, you can use the item. Using items uses up skill points as opposed to “Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time” wherein items have to be bought. Some examples of Mario and Luigi special attacks are the Green Shell (The shell is repeatedly kicked up to a certain amount), the Sweets Basket(Luigi eats falling sweets, causing him to bloat. Mario in turn will throw him up, causing a massive shock wave), and the Here and There Window (The brothers are hidden in the window. Pressing the corresponding button will help lengthen the attack). Bowser can also get special attacks by freeing his armies, or collecting cat-like blocks. Bowser’s attack uses the touch screen. Example of these attacks is the Goomba army (touching the Goombas send them flying up, causing higher damage than when they hit the enemies), and the Bob-Omb Army (Use the touch screen to place the Bob-Omb to go in front of the enemies, in which they’ll damage the enemies by exploding).

There are also new features in the third game, such as the ranking system, which lets players earn rank as they level up. Earning ranks will allow Mario, Luigi, or Bowser to equip more items, or buy more equipments.

The badge system has also changed. Instead of badges that gives certain skills, badges are now used to get incentives whenever you get a “good”, a “great”, or an “excellent” in your attacks. Such incentives include Health or Skill points recovery, or attack increase.

Minigames have also been used for the main story, unlike in the second game wherein there is only one available minigame. Some minigames include the “arm power-up” (Mario and Luigi hit spark-like things to strengthen Bowsers arms), the “leg power-up” (Mario and Luigi stomp on leg muscle to strengthen Bowser’s legs), and the stomach digestion (Mario and Luigi digest the food that Bowser eats).

A certain minigame let’s you increase Bowser’s size up to a giant. This would let you enter a new battle system wherein the DS is held like a book. You attack using the stylus and the microphone (blowing through the microphone lets you breathe out fire).

Here is the Development info:

Nintendo revealed Mario Luigi RPG 3 at a press conference in Japan ^[6]. Nintendo of Japan revealed details of the game relating to the plot and gameplay, as well as the fact that it would have intensive use of the touch screen . AlphaDream, developers of Superstar Saga andPartners In Time, developed this game, with experienced contibutors to the Mario series such as Yoko Shimomura and Charles Martinet working on music and voice acting, respectively.

Here is the Plot:

A mysterious plague is taking over the Mushroom Kingdom. The only symptom that this disease results in is the inflating of the Toads many times their normal size, causing them to grow big and roll around without any control; the disease is known as the “Metakoro”. A council is called to discuss what might have to be done, and Mario and Luigi are both called to further discuss what could be done with this disease that is spreading. At this time, Bowser enters Peach’s castle and tries to kidnap her by force. Mario then fights Bowser to protect the princess. After his inevitable defeat, Bowser wakes up in a forest and a mysterious figure offers a “lucky mushroom” to Bowser, who eats it. He unknowingly gains the ability to inhale things and becomes brain-washed by Fawful, a villain from the previous installments. Fawful sends Bowser to Peach’s Castle, where he swallows all the Mushroom Kingdom council members. With Peach and Bowser preoccupied, Fawful then takes control over both of their castles. When he awakes, Bowser proceeds to chase Fawful. Meanwhile, Mario & Luigi must attempt to find a way out of Bowser’s stomach."

Any questions?

tl;dr: Basically this blog is going to last until this game comes out.

HONORABLE MENTION

• Uncharted 2 (the original being probably my favorite 3d platformer since SMB64)
  
• Fat Princess (if only I were the type of man to eat cake in the vicinity of cameras)
  
• Prototype (because come on, we all remember how awesome Crackdown was)
  
• Wii Sports Resort (IMO this still belongs more in the Wii Play line than the Wii Sports since it's going to come down to "INSTRUMENTAL CONTROLLER + game", but I do still want it so w/e)
  
• Infinite Space (Platinum, you are my BOY[s])